Shadowing Light

Posted on May 24, 2012 by

Shadowing Light

Photography and Text by Jules Hovee Steffen

It seems that in each moment, there may likely be an open space for healing a part of us that may be hiding in the crevices and shadows of ourselves, not wanting to be found out in some profound way.   The crevices and shadowed spaces deep within us may offer a sense of safety when considering our backstories and early perceptions about whether we felt truly safe.  For many, we may now realize from our life patterns that we have felt unsafe in a myriad of varying levels – physical, emotional, spiritual, energetic, etc.  What may be true for us – is that the darkness in the shadows of these crevices may shield us from having to step forward into what may feel like beam of brightness that may create such vulnerability while illuminating what’s really going on for us.  To experience the light may feel too shocking – it may feel as if its just too much for us to bear its penetrating sense of hope and enlivened grace.  The shadows may insulate us from the light such that we may stay separate. And the separation may likely feel familiar from times past in our early existence, and to some degree, we may experience elements of safety in the separateness.  Yet, in staying separate, we also stay removed from ourselves and others – and experience our spiritual connections potentially remote and unavailable.  The process of shifting from the deep crevices and shadowed places deep within our being – as we transition toward the light may likely be a slowly-paced journey, with varied lengths of pauses and resting places. It’s not a journey that can be rushed.  That may be part of our wounding, that we were rushed in ways beyond description, that we perceived we had little – or no choice – in any matter that pertained to us, and subsequently, we lost deep connections with ourselves along the way.  All of it is expressed in the Middle Ground: Where Sages Dwell, where the gaps of shadowing light are embraced with deep respect.  Without the darkness, we may not really know what it means – to venture toward what may be – a little dot of white light, our first hope-filled glimpse of an open space ahead, waiting for us.

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More than Mere Windows

Posted on May 20, 2012 by

More than Mere Windows 

Photography and Text by Jules Hovee Steffen

For me, bedtime and waking time are my two favored spaces of time within my day – to
 reach into stillness.  And somewhere inside the stillness, there is an ever-so-gentle wave of movement that rises with expansion and then deliberately dissipates as if riding a very slow-moving ocean swell.  All the other pulsations and rhythms that surface for me seem to fade in the distant background in the midst of this slow swell that gives way to a sense of expansion and its subsequent ease.  When eager to await this experience, it seems to stay hidden and remotely unavailable.  For me, it’s when I’m not looking for it, that it seems to reveal itself.   The expression of the Long Tide within is a stable rhythm ride that is unceasing in it’s wave-like dynamic.   An earlier blogpost entitled Riding the Long Tide offers more information for interested readers.

Just as stones of the Earth are a daily experience in my life as the most dense form of Spirit – that prompts me to drop within more deeply,  (reflected in the following blogposts:  Stone Sense and Sitting Stones), the Long Tide seems to guide me to a place of sacred stillness where Stillness resides, another space in which dropping more deeply seems to occur.  This extended wave breathes an ever-present breath that does not cease to exist. True rest and relaxation seem to come when we stop the incessant search, when we refrain from our identifications with form, as we forego our fragile attachments to this finite world – and cross over into a realm that is without form.  I believe the Middle Ground: Where Sages Dwell is the middle space, the gap, the still breath in between the inhale and the exhale, and the places of silence and stillness into which we drop when we rest in the safety and mystery of true Stillness.  Stones and our Long Tide may be more than mere windows through which we crawl into another realm of experience.  They may be open portals that reach into another world.  And what’s true, is that there are many openings that reach into these wondrous spaces.

You are invited to take a look at what’s available in our store for purchase:  Reaching Beyond into Relaxation, an audio download for rest: 

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Tender Travelings

Posted on May 10, 2012 by

Tender Travelings

Photography and Text By Jules Hovee Steffen

For many of us, traveling is an exciting adventure.  Along the way, we have gathered tracking skills that prove helpful in noting our observations.  For me, taking photos offers a visceral sense of absorbing my experiences so that I retain them over time.  Even though I love having photos to reenergize my system in remembering times past, our bodies are incredibly equipped in absorbing the texture, color and finely-tuned fabric of our experiences.  We carry a knowing within us that transcends any sense of speculation. Resting in this knowing, letting it come forward within us such that it may be more palpable – may be the next step toward healing the wounds within us that continue to tug at us.  This tugging is Spirit’s way to prompting us to seek the healing that is ours.  It may be our way of waiting in the wings until we are really ready to enter into the healing dynamic. We may have these so-called knowings that come to us at any moment in time, and yet, we may not realize what it is specifically that we know.

In looking back into the past, I’ve selected three previous blogs that speak to this sense of knowing within us.   As we experience increased awareness of the patterns that are repeated in our lives, the tethered threads that seem to tie themselves to repeated themes that may keep surfacing in our lives – we begin to hold this information in our psyche such that healing begins to come to us in unfathomable ways.   I encourage you as readers to peruse the following blogposts as they may nudge our knowing deep inside.  As a result, we may be prompted to delve deeper into the parts of us that long to heal:

 On the Edge

Intimate Connections

More Than Just A Wall

We may experience a sense for holding this material and ultimately acknowledge that it is awakened within us.  Our knowing now shifts into a sense of conscious holding.  Energy prompts more energy.  And where there is energy, there is great potential for healing. It’s here that we begin to hold what may have happened for us during our journey into this world, and we may feel compassion for our prenate self who resides within.   As these moments of compassion increase within us, pieces of healing come.  Our knowing reaches forward into our awareness and we enter into trusting what we know.  It’s here that our pain may be met with compassion. What may have been our waiting in the wings – has now taken to flight.  This orchid seems to have it’s wings out-stretched as it takes flight into its full beauty.  May it be so for us. Compassion dips down into the pain – where grace rests. Surely, it is here that we walk the path known as the Middle Ground: Where Sages Dwell, the healing spaces that are in the gap where true Silence and Presence reside.

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Sitting Stones

Posted on April 28, 2012 by

Sitting Stones

Photography and Text by Jules Hovee Steffen

Our most commented-on blogpost thus far is Stone Sense.  I encourage our readers to reflect on its simple and profound prompting as it initiates the energetic nudge offered here in this post.  (here’s the link:  Stone Sense)  There’s something magical about stones as they have such incredible healing properties, being the most dense form of Spirit.  They may likely be ancient in what they have weathered through the centuries, and what they have witnessed, touched and experienced by way of being in the soil and fellow partners on the Earth.  (excerpt from Stone Sense)  We may likely be in relationship with these fellow partners, where spaces of rest and relaxation may come to us as we enter into this dynamic.

There is a sage in my life who collects many stones and offers them as gifts to be chosen.  
I find myself picking a stone from this collection that gently graces the ledge of the fence where they lie in wait of being found again.  And, as I walk the Earth and its many paths, I come across various stones that speak to me, and for some of them, I bring them along with me.  For others, I have them remain in the space where I find them, just noticing them. For me, it’s a sacred process in my selection. As our most dense experience of Spirit, stones may call to us in ways that transcend time. They have lived in and on the Earth for countless years and have witnessed what may remain unspeakable within us.  They may be for us – a solid opening for an awakening voice deep within us – that may have otherwise remained closed, dormant and silent.

Some stones stay outside in the spaces around my home.  Other stones are gently placed
in my home and offer an essential presence of sacred hope and strength.  What may be for me, however, may be quite different for you – in your experience of sitting with stones.  And yet, the invitation is here to embark on a journey that speaks to you, that calls you.  I experience the call of stones – who have seen and heard so much.   And it’s not an accident that for me and my work with clients, I’m sitting with those who have seen and heard what has felt to be so wounding for so long.  The healing properties of stones, as experienced in their density of Spirit –  may sagiously sit in these penetrating spaces with us, absorb what is spoken – and what may never be spoken – but only felt, may listen with compassion, and stay steadfast in the strength of what is needed for healing.  And without a doubt, Spirit resides all around and creates open spaces for unimaginable healing.  Surely, we are sitting in the Middle Ground:  Where Sages Dwell.  May we rest and relax into these spaces.

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Sequences of Space – and Still Places

Posted on April 20, 2012 by

From the wall mural at The Ruins in Seattle

Sequences of Space – and Still Places

Photography and Text by Jules Hovee Steffen

The three trimesters that comprise our prenatal journey have critical agendas according to Dr. William Emerson’s clinical research, and are further corroborated by those who continue their healing process by way of prenatal regressive work.   As I experience my own regressive material and also sit with those who are drawn to heal their own experiences of pre- and perinatal shock wounding, I concur with this sequential progression of trimester agendas.  One of my earlier posts, Three Parts, A Portion of the Whole, articulates these descriptive details in Emerson’s prenatal framework of the three trimesters, specifying (T1) body, (T2) spirit and (T3) ego development as core foci.  I encourage readers to peruse this earlier post as it sets the stage for this current piece.

Each trimester agenda is critically essential to its individual part and the integrating whole of the developing and maturing prenate.  The body is the central focus of the first trimester, while spiritual dawning emerges for the prenate during the second semester. Within the third trimester, ego development is initiated and is all about making associations, identifying with our experience (“I am”), and attaching to what is temporal and tangible in the outer world.  While the three distinct agendas have their primary expressions of time and place within their respective trimester, this is not to say that smaller aspects of these agendas are not being expressed in the remaining trimesters.

When considering the second trimester where spiritual dawning emerges, stillness is an essential component here.  We’ve developed a body in the first trimester, and it’s now time for stillness to dwell within.  Dr. Emerson offers the following context:  Just as in life, when the mind and body recede during meditation, the spiritual process of discovery and transformation begin … for a human to experience Spirit within, the gradual recession of mind and body are considered essential.  The implications of this for the second trimester are profound.  It means that parents must hold the second trimester with great care and reverence, attempting to provide as much peacefulness as they can in their lives.  When this is not done, and even more dramatically, when traumas or shocks occur, the spiritual process is inundated and occluded by traumas and shocks.  The second trimester is also complicated by traumas and shocks that precede it, by woundings that occurred during the first trimester.  (Prenatal Stage Manual, Emerson)

Whatever may be happening in the life of the prenate’s parents and family – as well as the broader context of community, nation and world – may have huge impact on the developing prenate and the specific developmental agenda within a designated trimester. If this marinating material feels negative in any way to the prenate, wounding occurs for the prenate and remains in the unconscious as we live out our life.  The negative impacts

Wounded Leaf impaled by winter forces in Nature

seemingly leak out – over and over – in certain ways, potentially creating patterns of pain, dis-ease, dis-comfort, and un-health for us – knowing no boundaries within the physical, emotional, spiritual, and energetic realms.  If wounding occurs in the second trimester, our connection with the Divine, Source, God, Universal Spirit may be negatively impacted.  We may be triggered with big (or buried) feelings of anger, sadness, and/or fear –  in opposition toward what could have been a deeply aligned spiritual connection if our second trimester could have been one of connected stillness and spiritual openings.  Parts of us may resonate with the textures of this wounded leaf depicted here.  Finding safe ways to express our feelings about what may have happened to us stops the unconscious cycle within us so that open spaces may be revealed deep within us. Some may inaccurately perceive this to be an invitation to place blame on our parents or ancestors. To be clear, placing blame keeps us in our victim place and we continue to live unconsciously.  Naming what may have happened to us is all about taking responsibility for our lives as opposed to placing blame.  The human condition is deeply aligned with wounding, and as Rumi reminds us, the wound is the healer.  We follow and track the wound to find our healing.  Naming the wound, finding safe expressions for our feelings, and taking responsibility for our life creates open spaces within us.  When we experience openness, gifts of grace, hope, compassion, healing, light, forgiveness, and more – come to us.

Having an awareness now of what may have happened for us back then – may be an essential piece toward healing these negative impacts.  What was happening in the life of our parents, our extended family, our community, nation and world during this time?These energies permeate the prenate’s system.  If wounding occurs during the second trimester and we don’t have the opportunity to embrace a deep sense of stillness within the womb and within ourselves, feelings of sadness, fear/anxiety, and/or anger may reside in the crevices of our being.  When it’s too painful to feel these feelings in life, our defenses may keep us numb to our emotions.  Conversely, finding opportunities for experiencing stillness in our life now – may open the door to connect with the very stillness we wanted and needed during our second trimester such that we may now connect with our spiritual resources.  Just because wounding may occur for us early on doesn’t mean that we must forego the wonders of stillness forever. There are points of stillness that are innately within us. Our wounding may have separated us from deeply touching into the stillness within us while inutero, but the stillness is still within us, ready to be experienced at any point in time.  Our breathing, our pulsations, and our rhythms that ride the ebbs and flows of our inner tides – may guide us – return us – to our stillness.  We may long to know who we really are – and it’s here, in the stillness where we know our truth.  As the wounding happened to us, we forgot who we are.  The wounding separated us from who we are – and we may now return to the knowing that resides within us – our stillness.   As we begin to find these spaces within us, true Presence and Stillness emerge.  We truly move through the Middle Ground: Where Sages Dwell when we enter into the world of our embodied stillness – that leads us to Stillness. May we rest here often.

Gratitude to my teachers, Arrow De Groot, Certified Counselor and Pre- and Perinatal Educator, and William Emerson, Ph.D. , for their continual presence and wisdom.

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Piercing Echoes

Posted on April 11, 2012 by

Piercing Echoes

Photography and Text by Jules Hovee Steffen

Just because we experience something – feel it, believe it, repeat it over and over in life, and perceive it’s all about us and the individualized wounding we may carry — doesn’t mean that it’s really ours to embody or that it started with us.  And just because we may have embodied it and embraced it in some way, doesn’t mean that it’s ours to maintain in life. It may be reveal itself as a negative belief about ourselves, a memory of sorts, a nagging experience that we can’t seem to shake, or a repetitive negative behavior or feeling that has lingered for so long.  We may believe it’s all about us – and, what’s quite possibly true, is that it may not be about us at all.   We may have “taken it on” as we marinated in our prenatal experiences.  As a prenate, we have limited or no defenses to boundary ourselves from what may be permeating energies.  As I sit with those who regress back into their early experiences where prolific truths may be revealed from a thread of information or a tangible or illusive feeling, incredible healing may be initiated for seemingly decades of shame, guilt, hopelessness, and despair.

Dr. Emerson delves into the world of permeation, opening the gap where healing spaces may exist in places within us that may only know darkness and shades of shadow.  Here, he documents his many years of research in these italicized words:  One of the most common types of wounds that occur in the prenatal stages is called permeation trauma and shock.  This means that the woundings of parents are passed on to the unborn babies, and this passing is called permeation of parental wounds.  Permeation can and does occur throughout all the stages, and occurs mostly when parents’ wounds are activated and then repressed and denied. One such wound is maternal and paternal losses from abortions, miscarriages, and stillbirths.  There are three kinds of losses for parents, and both are subtle but powerful experiences that are useful to understand and encounter.  The reason why it is important to  be conscious of such losses is that unaware losses remain in the unconscious, and psychic energy is required to maintain their repression.  In addition, they create unconscious feelings of loss which emerge at unconventional times in life, confusing existing interactions and relationships.  Furthermore they are transmuted to subsequent pregnancies and transmitted to subsequent babies, i.e., subsequent babies marinate in the unconscious lives of their parents, and the material is available to them. So the experiences of prior prenates can be confused with self-experiences (babies fear that they too will die, because a prior sibling has died).    (Prenatal Stage Manual, Emerson)

With permeation wounding, we may have varied experiences of what it may feel like as a prenate making our way into this world.   The texture or quality of the permeation experience may be widely diverse in description give our individualized encounter.   We may experience our permeation wounding as if being drenched by certain energies,
stabbed, stalked, impregnated, invaded, pierced, a seeping or sorts, crowded, saturated, burdened, choked, clogged, gorged, distended, or inflated, and on and on.   We may negate or deny the possibility of permeation in our life, and yet, we may be at a loss to identify the inception of a particular negative belief system, behavior or experience to which we are so tightly attached.  It’s not about placing blame.  It’s all about taking responsibility for our life and  claiming the truth of our experience.   It’s about the ways in which the wounding from generations past – energetically moves through us.  When we name the wounding, we begin to have the wounding as opposed to the wounding having us – a very profound shift in unraveling the wounding that may wreak havoc for what may seem like a lifetime.  If it has to do about a loss that may have energetically touched us while we are inutero, these losses may likely imprint us deeply in ways that seem  unimaginable, and yet it’s our experience that holds our truth that seeks expression.  If these losses remain in our unconscious, we may transfer these wounding energies into our current relationships, continuing the saga of confusion, struggle, perpetual grief and world of dismay.

The marinating material of our prenatal experience holds all the energies that subsequently permeate our system, both positive and negative.  It may be time for us to initiate the shift as it takes so much time and energy to keep the wounding buried within us.  As we begin to acknowledge what may be wounding energies, we move through the lands of the Middle Ground: Where Sages Dwell.  It’s here that we may be given all that we need in order to heal what has held us down for so long.

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Remembering from the Depths of Darkness

Posted on March 29, 2012 by

Remembering from the Depths of Darkness

Photography and Text by Jules Hovee Steffen

Healing one’s wounding is a sacred journey indeed, and I feel quite blessed to be one who walks alongside when sitting for those who travel deep into what may seem for them to be an abyss of darkness.  They may have experienced various types of therapies over the course of their life, and yet the weight of their wounding may be such that they can’t find their way out of what seems to be a darkened hole.  Rest and relaxation may seem unavailable, and any sense of hope may feel like the texture of it runs thin.

The wounding gets in the way of remembering the light and hope from which we come (i.e. Spirit).  It’s as if we forget who we really are and from where we originate.  We identify deeply with the prenatal wounding that happens to us and we tend to act as if are not separate from the wounding.  It’s as if we merge with the wounding and believe we are the wounding (e.g.  I am bad;  I am wrong, etc.)  And yet, when we create space for our prenatal experience to surface within us, we may experience openings and movement toward uncovering and identifying what may have happened to us during our prenatal time.  A prenate repeatedly experiences life or death outcomes at every step throughout the prenatal journey, and for some, it can be a harrowing experience.  The profound level of consciousness that a prenate possesses is often minimized.  This consciousness is held within our bodies throughout our lifetime, surfacing in our core beliefs, languaging, overt and covert behaviors, repressed emotions, and the recapitulated themes and patterns imprinted within us.

It’s key here to know that we are not the wounding that happened to us, which we tend to
 mistakenly believe.   What’s true is that the wounding happened to us, but we are not the wounding.  It’s as if the wounding separated us from remembering who we really are. As we begin to tell ourselves the story around what may have happened to us, this distance and separation decreases and we begin to claim our true self, as opposed to our false self which we created in an effort to provide some sense of safety in the midst of our vulnerability.  The truth is that it may have served us when we were young, but it no longer serves us as we shift into adulthood. What may have created safety for us back then, is now filled with illusion and inaccurate thinking, and leads us down a path that fosters distance from our spiritual connection and in our relationships with others and ourselves.

There are many such times during our prenatal life when wounding may take place for us as prenates, and for this moment in time, we’ll turn toward the time of conception and the ensuing egg journey. In the following italicized text, Dr. William Emerson describes what many have experienced:   At [the]time of conception, you have just come from Spirit and retain a vast consciousness so there are all kinds of other awareness going on as well.  Being aware of the relative darkness, density, coarseness, darkness and heaviness of being in a body can be very shocking to a spirit who remembers how light, fine, refined, clean, clear and high it was in the world of Spirit…  Many other things in the egg journey can cause shock.  Some of these include leaving the ovary, facing death,

Ostrich Eggs in the distant grass

falling into the void of the abdomen, being bathed in drugs (including alcohol), feeling the responsibility for life, and experiencing the dysfunctional relationship between parents.  Regarding death, described in the list above, keep in mind that most eggs die in the ovary without ever ripening.  Of the eggs that do ripen and leave the ovary, most die and are washed away in the menstrual flow.  Every egg that ripens has been present for the ripening and the eventual death of all the previous eggs.  If you are the first child conceived by your mother, the egg that became you could reasonably be 100% confident that she was facing death because every egg that ripened before her had died.  The percentage is decreased somewhat for subsequent children because of the success they witnessed in the egg that did survive to become a child.  So, for subsequent children, the “certainty” of death is not so absolutely true, but still has a high percentage of probability.  Therefore, it is reasonable that many regressions to the egg journey include encounters with the energetic imprints of eggs that have gone before and died, and previously born children, as well as previously conceived but miscarried or aborted siblings.  The passage through the fallopian tube (both before and after conception) is sometimes likened to a tour of the graveyard – passing the energetic imprint of previously dead eggs (fertilized or not) and sperm.  Some people experience this passage as moldering, rotting, decrepit, and decaying – extremely distressing and shocking.  (Prenatal Stage Manual, Emerson)

Some may jump to minimize or quickly negate the impact of an energetic imprint within ourselves and others, and yet, when we do so, we may be doing to another what was done to ourselves (by way of our own wounding).   As we negate or deny the experience of another, we do the same to ourselves, repeating this early pattern over and over again.  Our actions toward others – as well as ourselves – may likely result from a wounding that we experienced early-on in our existence and we may feel too vulnerable to acknowledge the truth and the pain it has caused us.  There may be layers upon layers of consciousness and emotion that have been covered over such that our remembering feels remote and unattainable.  Pieces of healing may come from just acknowledging these pieces of knowing that are surfacing.  What has felt impenetrable for so long, may now offer an opening for understanding.  It may be that from the depths of darkness, remembering is unveiled.   Creating resources to support us in this unveiling process such that we may feel safe as our early material is revealed to us, is an essential ingredient.  Finding qualified professionals and supportive persons to assist us are key so that appropriate pacing and processing of wounding material can occur safely for us.  Our wounding occurred in the midst of relationships, and thus, our healing occurs while in relationship.  When we tread these open spaces of healing, we are surely walking on the Middle Ground:  Where Sages Dwell.

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One Hundred

Posted on March 14, 2012 by

100 = eagle feather and stones

One Hundred

Photography and Text by Jules Hovee Steffen

One Hundred is what it’s all about for this particular post as it’s the number of posts present for Middle Ground: Where Sages Dwell.   Here, the eagle feather, used  to gift Spirit wind of burning sage in native american ceremonial practices, is adjacent to two stones, the most dense form of Spirit – all in the recognizable formation of 100. What does 100 mean here?  I believe it gives context to what it means to be on a personal journey to reconnect with oneself, a sacred quest to uncover what may have remained covered and unaccessible for a very long time.  We may be deep within the mountainous ridges and we’ve now reached the top pinnacle of one peak, likely able to see far down into the valleys of the woundings that we carry through life.  Our eyes may track the eagle’s flight across the vast spaces of forest land and mountainous terrain as we catch the whispers and visions of hope and sustaining energy for our continued trek and travels.   100 is about the enduring spirit within us that keeps us surging forward, that does not give up, but is rejuvenated from within as we breathe into the very resources that offer healing sustenance.

100 is about the alivened energy that may be likened to giving witness and celebration to those aged souls of 100 years who cross over this mysterious landmark in their lives, ready to begin a new century of space for living life.  For us here, it may be a crossing over of sorts as we deepen the journey for discovering open healing spaces within us in the midst of the wounding places that have found residence deep within the crevices of our being.  One Hundred speaks to where we’ve been – and it gives voice to where we’re going.  All of it holds the Middle Ground: Where Sages Dwell.   When there is awareness of our connections to the whole, our oneness with everything, everyone, and with the Source (i.e. Universal Spirit, God) merges.  We may begin to release the attachments and identifications that hold us captive to form, and we enter into the mysterious wonder and healing that nonform and our beingness offer us.  Blessings as we move into the next open spaces of one hundred.

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A Healing Ambience

Posted on February 29, 2012 by

A Healing Ambience

Photography and Text by Jules Hovee Steffen

There’s something about the ambience of being in the space where I spend a fair amount of time – my studio office where I sit with clients.   It’s a sacred place for me, filled with a combination of open and crevice-like spaces that seemingly gather layers of painful experiences such that
new dimensions of embodied grace may be absorbed by those who shed their heart souls.  For me, the framed artwork and sculptured stones sitting heavy in their grounding stance, offer resourcing imagery and assist in maintaining the atmospheric template for healing, encouraging the experience of turtle-like pacing, unhurried and sure-footed in its quest for restorative healing.  One of many potential mantras here embraces the belief that all things are connected and that we are One, that there isn’t anything that is not connected.  These particular articulations of imagery may likely offer compassion for the eyes of one who longs for healing, for this one who has held onto a kind of hope that has somehow sustained this sagious journey toward restoration where rest and relaxation dwell.

Enduring Spirits by Phil Borges

May it be that we create and discover these kinds of spaces in and throughout our lives – in our homes, work spaces, and in the in-between places and on the extremities of life’s circumstances – such that we may experience a kind of compassion – that pierces through the wounds that hold us silent and frozen, that shares the undeliable resources of Nature, art, and all that is beauty, that speaks the restorative intentions and prayers that give wing to our spirits and disheartened souls, setting us firmly on our path toward the healing that we may seek.  It’s here where the Middle Ground: Where Sages Dwell exists.  We are given all that we need in order to experience the healing that is ours.  No matter what we may believe with our tainted glasses that reflect distortions (given our lenses originate from our wounding experiences), there is enough for us.

You are invited to take a look at what’s available in our store for purchase:  Reaching Beyond into Relaxation, an audio download for rest:

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Drifting Self

Posted on February 25, 2012 by

We may actually erect a fortress of driftwood in our attempts to create safety in life.

Drifting Self

Photography and Text by Jules Hovee Steffen

Some of us enjoy being alone, finding spaces for being with ourself, with no outside distractions, presence or noise.  We may actually crave it in life.  Others of us, may long for connection and the accompanying presence of others.  And then there’s all the in-betweens that occur in the midst of these seemingly opposite positions, as well as the outer limits that extend outside these estimated perimeters in what may be considered extreme isolation and highly extroverted living.   What occurs for us prenatally may likely have huge implications for the ways in which we live our lives – in and among our relationships with others – and with ourself.   The anger, sadness and fear that we may feel deep within our core may feel so remote and detached, and yet we may have a wonderment as we feel into the peripheral edges of it from time to time.  It may include an awareness of these confusing feelings – just often enough that the rest and relaxation we long for may feel unattainable, just beyond our grasp.   We may erect fortresses within us that are constructed with Driftwood (pun intended) in our fragile attempts to keep ourselves safe and sheltered from the storms that may seemingly rage at us for what we may perceive to be for unknown reasons (whether they be physical, emotional, spiritual and/or energetic forces in our life), and yet these defenses that we may so tightly grasp, are mostly likely not working  well to create healthy relationships with others, let alone, a healthy sense of self.

I love driftwood and it seems to call to me when I walk along ocean beaches, the auspicious shores that collect these sagious pieces that have weathered so much for long periods of time.  It reminds me of a certain prenatal stage during our ovulation, referred to as Drift.  Dr. William Emerson speaks of this particular experience:  The stage of Drift, rich with mythological experience, begins as ovulation is finishing and ends when the egg arrives in the fallopian tube.  After successfully ovulating, the egg finds itself ‘alone’ for the first time, as it has departed the ovary and the cluster of cells that had been its community.  Aloneness, at a cellular level and at a psychological level is first experienced here.  For those following the spiritual model, this sense of aloneness is a great contrast to the presumed spiritual and soulful connectedness from which we come.  How we experienced aloneness in our lives as children and adults can be set up by this primal experience, i.e. our first biological aloneness as a cell, and our spiritual separation as our soul is embodying.  Depending upon the psychological environment, the quality of the relationship between the biological parents and the particular lifestyle, self-esteem, and psychological disposition of the mother, this first experience of aloneness can result in vastly different psychological programming.  One can fear, or even be terrified by, aloneness.  One can crave aloneness, or one can feel indifferent to being alone.  The experience of the singular self, or the isolated, departed or expelled self, is simultaneously experienced at soulful and cellular levels as Drift begins.  Whatever colors this experience, colors and predisposes the character, personality, and psyche of the person arriving from the egg cell in connection with the state of aloneness.  (Prenatal Stage Manual, Emerson)

Having an accurate sense of what may have happened for us prenatally such that our sense of self may be impacted in a way that either draws us toward or away from aloneness – may be incredibly helpful in our journey to heal.  It’s really all about what happened to us, and it’s amazingly healing to know and claim these truths, that what happened to us -is NOT who we really are.  We may inaccurately believe on a very deep level that we are the aloneness – or we are the opposite of aloneness, both of which may be in reaction to this Drift wound that occurred during our ovulation time.  What’s true is that a new time has arrived for us to experience and claim the rest and relaxation in our life that we may seek, and it may come to us as we begin to acknowledge our truth.   Clearly, when we are on this trajectory to know the truth of what occurred for us, we are in and among the Middle Ground: Where Sages Dwell.

You are invited to take a look at what’s available in our store for purchase:  Reaching Beyond into Relaxation, an audio download for rest:

Posted in Pre- and Perinatal Wounding, Relationships, relaxation, Sacred Practice | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments