Sitting in the Silence

Posted on April 18, 2013 by

Sitting in the Silence

Photography and Text by Jules Hovee Steffen

It’s good to sit in the silence and let the silence have the last word. We’re in our heads so much and thoughts spin ’round and ’round or roll off our tongues, keeping us in the spaces of countless thought forms where we live at the effect of the ego that separates us from who we really are. Returning to the silence places us in the spaces of nonform where Presence lies, where we relish in our natural and true state if we will but step into this quietness.

We tend to spend a lot of time living in our old scripts that may incessantly rise up and run us, repeating what we made something mean about ourselves so long ago, whether it’s I’m bad, I’m alone, It’s my fault, etc. and these kinds of self-meaning making decisions from our early existence keep us trapped in the past and imprisoned by the ego whose job it is to gain proof for us of these self-deprecating beliefs. And we may spend a lot of time in the future, worrying about what may happen, denying us again the opportunity to live in the present. Whether it’s the past or future, we are living at the effect of the ego and its illusive trappings. Egoic thoughts shield us from experiencing our natural and true self, our I AMness, which is our highest good. When we drop into the stillness and breathe into our I AMness, our being, we are not living at the effect of the ego. Presence and ego are incompatibly distinct. When we’re in our ego, we’re not in our I AMness and vice versa. May we breathe our way to sitting in the silence often and let this space create more openness within us. Only here are we in the here and now and available to experience life in its true expressions. It’s all about the Middle Ground: Where Sages Dwell.

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Light Remembered

Posted on December 11, 2012 by

imageLight Remembered

Photography and Text by Jules Hovee Steffen

There may be a textural ambiance that draws us toward the strings of decorative lights that adorn our collective homes during the winter holiday season.  Some of us may actually perpetuate the use of these stringed lights throughout the year.  And the extensions of warmth that resonate from our softly lit window lamps may inspire our internal quest for drawing near to these gracious spaces unnumbered, all for nestling in and soaking up abundant forms and experiences of light.  Our experience of the woundings we may both personally and collectively carry may feel negative, heavy and dark – and our souls may likely long for whispers of experience that feel positive, weightless and full of light.  Our longing for the light may be exponentially profound given that we have a significant relationship with light-filled experiences.   Before the woundings happened to us prenatally, we knew deeply the intrinsic experiences of light and lightness.   We are drawn to it now for the mere reason and essential truth that we know these properties of light and lightness within the sagious fibers of our being.  It’s to this –  that we are drawn.  It’s to this – that we return.  When we breathe into the layered aspects of light that we know and remember so well, we return to the parts of ourselves that hold our true nature.  It’s here that we enter into the spaces of the Midddle Ground: Where Sages Dwell.

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A Clear Day

Posted on August 28, 2012 by

A Clear Day

Photography and Text by Jules Hovee Steffen

Where are we on a clear day, when there’s not a cloud in the sky and the trees reach to the Heavens and call us to experience such beauty in our world?  Where are we when we’re in the midst of the moss and the buds that rise up to touch us?    Are we available to be present enough to breathe it in – and know that the beauty of the world around us reflects the innate beauty that is already inside of us?   Were it not for the wounding that may separate us from who we really are…   Were it not for the separateness and our forgetting who we really are in the midst of the wounding…   we would know that we are the beauty that is in the clear blue sky and in the mossed buddings.  We are the gorgeous experience that reaches up and touches the tips of the Heavens.  We are the co-mingling colors that are ferociously vibrant and so subtle beyond their worded description.  Taking intentional moments to breathe into the parts of us where we feel open spaces, where we may feel pieces of compassion for what may have happened to us along our life journey…and experience the openings of grace and connection that we long for – it’s all here and available to us if we will but breathe into the truths before us – and inside of us.  And all of it is the Middle Ground: Where Sages Dwell.

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Finding Our Freedom

Posted on August 2, 2012 by

Finding Our Freedom

Photography and Text by Jules Hovee Steffen

Here, we delve into the prenatal process where we (as a blastocyst) implant into our mother’s uterine wall, the first form of physical contact with our mother.  The relational dynamics that we experience with our mother in life may characterize pieces of those early moments of touching into her as we implanted into her uterine wall.  Following Implantation, the process of Differentiation or Individuation begins where separation from the uterine wall is initiated.  Rather than a merging process with the mother as in Implantation, an un-merging now begins.   We have consciousness about the texture of our prenatal environment when we are in these moments – a knowing, whether we are wanted or unwanted, whether it’s a welcoming space, unfriendly, ambivalent, hostile, disconnected, egocentric – or a combination of multiple experiences.

When implanting, we may have a sense that we lose ourselves – that our boundaries get crossed and/or we may feel as if we are merging too much with our mother.  Prenatal shock and wounding may be such that we believe we are the wounding itself since  boundaries or defenses are quite primitive at best.   They may be non-existent for us at this point in time.  In our relationships in life, we may likely merge and unmerge in ways that have its origins in our prenatal material from this early time.  For some of us, we may have no-experienced-sense of boundaries between ourselves and another, and it may be a painful and difficult existence filled with layers of confusion.  We may be oblivious when entering into another’s space and feel surprised when the person reacts negatively to us.  It’s all about the wounding that happened to us – that separated us from who we really are.  The good news is that we are not the wounding that happened to us.  We may believe we are the wounding, and yet, it’s just the ego inside of us that’s talking, as so clearly identified in Eckhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose.  Specific shocks impact us deeply and it’s from these wounded places to which we unconsciously return as we live out our lives and we may wonder why we behave, act or feel the way we do. It’s the woundings that happened to us and that continue to run us, in combination with our egoic thinking that may so easily take charge within us (as articulated by Eckhart Tolle) – that separate us from our true nature.

Dr. William Emerson reveals that Individuation is also called the Yolk Sac Journey because, at this phase of development, the embryo is being nourished by the yolk rather than the placenta.  As long as the conceptus is primarily undifferentiated, it can survive on the nourishment and oxygen in the uterine milk and yolk.  As the cells differentiate and a circulatory, respiratory and other systems develop, the fetus needs the oxygenation of blood that only the placenta can provide.  About the time the yolk is depleted anyway and no longer available, the placenta becomes capable of taking over the task.  Individuation is the process whereby the conceptus, having burrowed into the uterine wall and created a connection to the yolk sac (nurturing organ before the placenta), grows back out of the wall.  It is called the Yolk Sac Journey because the baby is still being primarily nourished by the yolk sac;  as the yolk is depleted, the placenta is ready to take over providing nourishment and meet the needs of the growing fetus’ needs for oxygen.  The psychological task is becoming independent of one’s roots.  In Jungian terms, Indviduation means you are becoming your own person, you are separating and becoming more deeply connected to your archetypes, your own inner forces and so on.  So you are no longer immersed in the uterine wall.  You are separate. And that has some sense of freedom.  On the other hand you are out there by yourself.   (Prenatal Stage Manual, Emerson)

If we experience too much or too little, if our little systems go into overwhelm or a state of struggle,  shock may occur and is remembered within our bodies. There are many such stages that we manuever our way through to be born – and the unconscious material and woundings of our parents and ancestors may permeate our little systems given that we have little defense to ward off these powerful energies.  The healing power that is available to parents, children and families who identify, feel, and process their unconscious wounding material is one of the greatest gifts that can be offered to their upcoming generations.  The shocking energy may then be released  such that freedom from past wounding is experienced.  Family secrets that are carried through the generations dig deep into the unconscious material and energetic fabric of the family members, both collectively and individually – and may create and unleash mysterious physical, energetic, behavioral, emotional, spiritual havoc  - and yet, these unconscious roots leave threads to be uncovered, identified and healed by those members who are no longer willing to perpetuate the silence.  Surely, these are the paths that lead us to the Middle Ground:  Where Sages Dwell.   May we seek to come out of the shadows and stand tall as we tell our truth.  We may feel as if we’re out there by ourself, and yet, there may likely be a lot of freedom to be experienced as we claim and live our life – and find our being.  As we settle into our true nature of being, we may find the rest for which we long.

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An Unveiling

Posted on June 21, 2012 by

An Unveiling

Photography and Text by Jules Hovee Steffen

One of my favorite experiences is to listen to – or read – Eckhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose.  One particular excerpt (of many)
from Eckart’s writing, lingers with me, ruminating within  - One thing we do know: Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness.  How do you know this is the experience you need?  Because this is the experience you are having at this moment.  (Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth, pg. 41)  As difficult as these words may be to absorb given our specific woundings that seem to transcend time –  and the painful events and experiences that may occur for us during our life, the wounds we carry and bear within our bodies may be the cracked open gateway to our healing, a poignant truth for those of us who walk this earthen path.

We may negate or avoid our feelings that are so deeply aligned with our painful experiences, whether it be anger, sadness or fear (our core feelings).  We may find countless ways to unknowingly escape our feelings about what pains us, grabbing for an experience that may somehow remove us for a moment from the realm of our pain. These attempts to reach beyond and rescue ourselves from our pain by denying our feelings that may be stirring inside, may be likened to a balloon full of air that pops and falls to the Earth given the many holes of illusive thinking that deflate it.  For some, entering into the realm of a certain behavior may begin the downward slide into addiction, whether it be it to overeat, restrict food intake, drink alcohol, use the internet, TV, drugs, gamble, shop, exercise, sex, pornography, sleep, party, vomit up our feelings, cut on ourselves, engage in self-destructive or risk-taking behaviors, gossip, fight, etc. – essentially numbing out to life in all sorts of unfathomable ways, etc. –  and unconsciously project our regressive wounding material onto other people rather than take responsibility for our life by naming the core sources of our wounding and finding safe ways to have our feelings about what happened to us.

We may be tempted to circumvent what could be our healing by living sideways in such a way that diverts our emotional material into various directions that have nothing to do with our early wounding, inaccurately transferring it sideways on to something or someone else. Cringing at that word addiction, we may defend and rationalize it away in our effort to keep this word at bay, and yet, we may return to the same behaviors time and time again in our feeble effort to keep our feelings from surfacing, only driving them deeper into our bodies where they may have their powerful way and may subsequently unleash some level of dis-ease within.  Unfortunately, we may believe these numbing behaviors are our ticket to some good end, and yet, it’s all an illusion.  Our feelings are strong warriors within us that will not be ignored, unrelenting as they surface within us – to drive us deeper into the spaces within us where our truth resides.  What we may not realize is that it’s not about blame when we begin to name what happened to us. It’s claiming our truth.  Our bodies respond accordingly to the truth, breathing healing to those spaces of imprisonment within us.  Our light returns as we release what we’ve held down – and fill up with what resources us.

It’s about taking responsibility for our life and for our healing – and acknowledging that whatever experience is happening for us, is the one that may move us toward consciousness and an awakened state of presence if we are ready to be opened in this way. The morning dawn breaks open and the Middle Ground: Where Sages Dwell – is unveiled.  When we move into the darkened spaces of our pain, healing light may be revealed such that our path may be known more deeply and clearly.  As with these overflowing wisteria, what may seemingly be a veiled experience, may be the impetus for an unveiling of sorts as we open up to the spaces of grace, healing, presence and conscious living.  Practicing optimal self-care, finding spaces of safety to resource us, and having individuals in our life who gently guide us on our healing journey are essential components for manuevering these painful spaces and finding our way through to the light.  What may have covered us for so long may eventually be uncovered such that the light of our day may be experienced, where we can be fully present in life and be free from our imprisonment.

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Available Places of Light

Posted on June 12, 2012 by



Available Places of Light

Photography and Text by Jules Hovee Steffen

We may at times feel like we have lost all hope, where we perceive there isn’t any reason to be anymore.  It’s quite a scary place when we’re in this space.  We may not be able to find any hope or motivation to go on.  Time and time again, I have sat with those who have been in this space, and what we may not realize in this particular moment, is that our body is remembering an earlier time in our existence when we felt this way – and brings it forward such that we may touch into it again in order to finally heal. As a prenate, on our way toward being born, we may experience wounding times – and we may feel all alone, with little or no hope of making it through.  Our bodies have incredible wisdom and engage in an unconscious vision quest of sorts, in our search to heal what has happened to us, finding countless ways of prompting these feelings forward – time and time again until we are ready to rest in the healing that is truly ours.  Our conception and/or our birth(day) in particular may be vulnerable times for us, just two of many potential experiences where we may carry specific wounding.  It’s not an accident that we may feel more emotion with respect to these experiences – we may feel alone in it – we may shy away from celebrating our birth – we may hurt ourselves in some way, or get sick unexpectedly, all specific ties to our journey into this world and around the time of our birth experience.

The more aware we become aware of what may have happened for us, the more present and conscious we will be in life – and in our death.  We are worth the ride to consider the path of the Middle Ground:  Where Sages Dwell.  None of what happens to us is by accident.   Magnificent threads of sagious meaning and intriguing continuity travel alongside us – and within us – the entire way, guiding us further into the mystery of life.  Hope may come when these pieces may pierce into us more deeply – when we touch delicately into the threads and may realize that what happened to us by way of our wounding is not who we are.  The wounding is what happened to us, but it’s not who we are.  And yet, we may invariably believe we are the wounding given that we identified with it early on.  These identifications may become more clear to us as we look deeply into our perceptions, the archaic beliefs to which we are tightly bound – out of which our actions, addictions and the repeated themes that cycle over and over again for us – occur.   As a prenate, we identify with the wounding that happened to us because we have no boundaries to defend ourselves, and we mistakenly and inaccurately believe we are that which is negative and wounding.  We may live in this darkened space for most of our lives and unfortunately miss the truth about the light that we are.

Each of us is a light of hope who existed in this Light before our woundings occurred – and its to this Light of hope that we long to touch again.  We may mistaken the light for many things along the way given the degree to which our illusive beliefs are tightly wrapped within the grip of these identifications.  We may confuse who we are with our clothes, money, status, job, beliefs, friends – and on and on – because it’s the unconscious wounding within us that is speaking.  And yet, our unconscious wounding is our ticket to conscious healing.  Rumi, the ancient mystic poet, reminds us that the wound is the healer – and as we move into the times of our wounding, grace may meet us there.   May we persevere and find ways of creating safety for ourselves so that we may touch into the spaces of wounding and thereby find the path that leads us to experience the healing that is ours. Even in the most dense spaces of darkness, there are available places of light.  Blessings to all who know the darkness.   May we find the pieces of light that are here for us.

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Intricately Positioned

Posted on June 5, 2012 by

Intricately Positioned

Photography and Text by Jules Hovee Steffen

The memory of this little boy moving toward me while I rest on a step in the middle of China – comes back to me quite easily and spontaneously when I least expect it.   And as I sit in my studio office, what captures my eyes and heart are the pictures that line my window sill – photos of my clients as babies and young children.  The magical happening that occurs when in this contained space is that one’s adult and child begin to show up together in one body, an intertwined energetic experience, to discover the wonder of living together in a healing dynamic.   It’s as if the adult part of us nurtures the child part of us who carries beliefs and perceptions about our early wounding experiences, whatever they may be.  This young part of us needs a kind of care and support that is without limitation or condition.  It’s our younger self who carries the woundings from our prenatal life as well as what occurred during and after our birth, where imprints and patterns are set and maintained through life until the time we consciously identify and repattern the path we have walked for what may seem forever.  It’s here where we may find the rest and relaxation for which we long.

I encourage my clients to carry with them a photo of their little one (as well as
place them around their home and in their car) so that they are reminded of this dynamic relationship that is living inside of them each day, literally each moment.  What’s true is that it is within our true nature to offer ourselves healing properties of unimaginable portion for our highest good.  We have within us the propensity to instill our own adult ego state alongside the part of us that may feel so small, so vulnerable and fragile – to be there and coexist in a such a way that creates health and wellbeing. Our feelings of anger, sad and afraid may likely be held deep within the crevices of our little child housed inside of us and may, at times, be triggered – and consequently, we may feel out of control or overwhelmed and immersed in a state of literal shock.   When our little kid inside is “running the show” within us (i.e. driving our car, trying to solve big problems,  engaging in what may be difficult relationships and interactions, and navigating life in general, etc.), unfathomable chaos may be unleashed – as we may be 3 years old or some other young age – living in an adult body.

Once we begin to acknowledge that these young parts of ourself show up in our life the way they do, we may find ways to access our adult ego state such that our
“adult” may take up residence within us, ready to offer care to the parts of us that are quite young.   It’s our little one who may likely feel responsible for the many tasks that lie ahead of us, and what’s true is – that it’s not her job, it’s not his responsibility to solve or complete them.  From a very early age, we may have perceived it was our responsibility and we may lived this belief since that early time.  Our adult ego state needs to be on-board inside of us such that he is the one in charge of accomplishing what is to be done.  So often, our little one may show up inside of us – eager to  drive, talk, manage, eat, drink, oversee, etc. and may likely create a lot of havoc that we scramble to clean up after-the-fact – or we may have to enlist others to clean up our mess.  Just noticing this dynamic is the first step toward shifting it.   More posts will delve deeper into this over time.  May we begin to notice more deeply what’s really going on for us such that we may find the path where the Middle Ground: Where Sages Dwell resides.  What may now rest on the ledge here in my studio office (i.e. photos of babies and children), is intricately positioned within each of us – our little one who may likely be so young in age, calling each one of us to find the adult within and make the long-awaited plea for supportive action and presence.  This is our charge and responsibility.  It’s time to give our little one the rest that she deserves – and finally take him off the hook.

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Shadowing Light

Posted on May 24, 2012 by

Shadowing Light

Photography and Text by Jules Hovee Steffen

It seems that in each moment, there may likely be an open space for healing a part of us that may be hiding in the crevices and shadows of ourselves, not wanting to be found out in some profound way.   The crevices and shadowed spaces deep within us may offer a sense of safety when considering our backstories and early perceptions about whether we felt truly safe.  For many, we may now realize from our life patterns that we have felt unsafe in a myriad of varying levels – physical, emotional, spiritual, energetic, etc.  What may be true for us – is that the darkness in the shadows of these crevices may shield us from having to step forward into what may feel like beam of brightness that may create such vulnerability while illuminating what’s really going on for us.  To experience the light may feel too shocking – it may feel as if its just too much for us to bear its penetrating sense of hope and enlivened grace.  The shadows may insulate us from the light such that we may stay separate. And the separation may likely feel familiar from times past in our early existence, and to some degree, we may experience elements of safety in the separateness.  Yet, in staying separate, we also stay removed from ourselves and others – and experience our spiritual connections potentially remote and unavailable.  The process of shifting from the deep crevices and shadowed places deep within our being – as we transition toward the light may likely be a slowly-paced journey, with varied lengths of pauses and resting places. It’s not a journey that can be rushed.  That may be part of our wounding, that we were rushed in ways beyond description, that we perceived we had little – or no choice – in any matter that pertained to us, and subsequently, we lost deep connections with ourselves along the way.  All of it is expressed in the Middle Ground: Where Sages Dwell, where the gaps of shadowing light are embraced with deep respect.  Without the darkness, we may not really know what it means – to venture toward what may be – a little dot of white light, our first hope-filled glimpse of an open space ahead, waiting for us.

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More than Mere Windows

Posted on May 20, 2012 by

More than Mere Windows 

Photography and Text by Jules Hovee Steffen

For me, bedtime and waking time are my two favored spaces of time within my day – to
 reach into stillness.  And somewhere inside the stillness, there is an ever-so-gentle wave of movement that rises with expansion and then deliberately dissipates as if riding a very slow-moving ocean swell.  All the other pulsations and rhythms that surface for me seem to fade in the distant background in the midst of this slow swell that gives way to a sense of expansion and its subsequent ease.  When eager to await this experience, it seems to stay hidden and remotely unavailable.  For me, it’s when I’m not looking for it, that it seems to reveal itself.   The expression of the Long Tide within is a stable rhythm ride that is unceasing in it’s wave-like dynamic.   An earlier blogpost entitled Riding the Long Tide offers more information for interested readers.

Just as stones of the Earth are a daily experience in my life as the most dense form of Spirit – that prompts me to drop within more deeply,  (reflected in the following blogposts:  Stone Sense and Sitting Stones), the Long Tide seems to guide me to a place of sacred stillness where Stillness resides, another space in which dropping more deeply seems to occur.  This extended wave breathes an ever-present breath that does not cease to exist. True rest and relaxation seem to come when we stop the incessant search, when we refrain from our identifications with form, as we forego our fragile attachments to this finite world – and cross over into a realm that is without form.  I believe the Middle Ground: Where Sages Dwell is the middle space, the gap, the still breath in between the inhale and the exhale, and the places of silence and stillness into which we drop when we rest in the safety and mystery of true Stillness.  Stones and our Long Tide may be more than mere windows through which we crawl into another realm of experience.  They may be open portals that reach into another world.  And what’s true, is that there are many openings that reach into these wondrous spaces.

You are invited to take a look at what’s available in our store for purchase:  Reaching Beyond into Relaxation, an audio download for rest: 

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Tender Travelings

Posted on May 10, 2012 by

Tender Travelings

Photography and Text By Jules Hovee Steffen

For many of us, traveling is an exciting adventure.  Along the way, we have gathered tracking skills that prove helpful in noting our observations.  For me, taking photos offers a visceral sense of absorbing my experiences so that I retain them over time.  Even though I love having photos to reenergize my system in remembering times past, our bodies are incredibly equipped in absorbing the texture, color and finely-tuned fabric of our experiences.  We carry a knowing within us that transcends any sense of speculation. Resting in this knowing, letting it come forward within us such that it may be more palpable – may be the next step toward healing the wounds within us that continue to tug at us.  This tugging is Spirit’s way to prompting us to seek the healing that is ours.  It may be our way of waiting in the wings until we are really ready to enter into the healing dynamic. We may have these so-called knowings that come to us at any moment in time, and yet, we may not realize what it is specifically that we know.

In looking back into the past, I’ve selected three previous blogs that speak to this sense of knowing within us.   As we experience increased awareness of the patterns that are repeated in our lives, the tethered threads that seem to tie themselves to repeated themes that may keep surfacing in our lives – we begin to hold this information in our psyche such that healing begins to come to us in unfathomable ways.   I encourage you as readers to peruse the following blogposts as they may nudge our knowing deep inside.  As a result, we may be prompted to delve deeper into the parts of us that long to heal:

 On the Edge

Intimate Connections

More Than Just A Wall

We may experience a sense for holding this material and ultimately acknowledge that it is awakened within us.  Our knowing now shifts into a sense of conscious holding.  Energy prompts more energy.  And where there is energy, there is great potential for healing. It’s here that we begin to hold what may have happened for us during our journey into this world, and we may feel compassion for our prenate self who resides within.   As these moments of compassion increase within us, pieces of healing come.  Our knowing reaches forward into our awareness and we enter into trusting what we know.  It’s here that our pain may be met with compassion. What may have been our waiting in the wings – has now taken to flight.  This orchid seems to have it’s wings out-stretched as it takes flight into its full beauty.  May it be so for us. Compassion dips down into the pain – where grace rests. Surely, it is here that we walk the path known as the Middle Ground: Where Sages Dwell, the healing spaces that are in the gap where true Silence and Presence reside.

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